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Dangerous mermaids page

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Health and safety warning in relation to images of mermaids

As with my other mermaid pictures, if you are a pirate, deep sea trawlerman or work in maritime insurance then these mermaids are not safe for work.

These pictures are presented as a public service to provide a growing catalogue of erotic marine hazards, and are intended primarily for the use of shipwreck investigators and authorised academics. If you do not fall into either of these categories you are advised not to continue reading.

nude mermaid

Do bear in mind that most species of mermaid lure sailors to their deaths on the rocks. If you must view this page then do check your telescope and adjust your rigging before scrolling down the page. You do so entirely on your own responsibility. Injudicious viewing of these images even on dry land has occasionally caused painful tea spillages. The owner of this web site accepts no responsibility for spillages of any kind.

A brief catalogue of mermaids

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The image above shows a mermaid from an investigator's sketchbook.

The next image shows a two-tailed mermaid using her mirror to attract attention and then dazzle the man holding the tiller. In these situations it is best to wear dark glasses and grip the tiller tightly.

nude mermaid

The crab is a pet for some mermaids. Mermaids often have crabs, another reason for not getting too close.

The next image is a one-tailed mermaid hiding demurely behind a seashell. This is merely a ruse.

nude mermaid

The unsuspecting sailor who happens to meet this mermaid on a small outcrop might be lulled into a false sense of security by her apparent modesty. She will offer to make him a cup of tea while he rests on a hammock, then suddenly when he is least suspecting it, sipping his tea and perhaps dunking a digestive biscuit into it, she will sensuously whip the scallop shell off before his dazzled eyes and hit him over the head with it.

As I have explained elsewhere, even demure mermaids do not wear bras made out of scallop shells. In fact I do not know anyone who wears a bra made of scallop shells. The idea is patently absurd.

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The above highly provocative mermaid image was found painted on a board supporting bathroom towel hooks.

The depiction of any kind of naked beauty is sometimes considered bad in itself. I have addressed these concerns in a short essay called A theory of sex and art. However be warned that there are depictions of beautiful bodies on that page as well.

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The image above is a link to another page depicting an unusual two-tailed winged mermaid. This is an artist's impression based on a small sculpture in the Wallace Collection, London.

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